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January 25, 2021

Below is a lesson from Nick Wignall on the 4 bad habits to eliminate to become more emotionally stable, as well as our key learnings.

The Blue Courage team is dedicated to continual learning and growth.  We have adopted a concept from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why team called “Learn, Share, Grow”.  We are constantly finding great articles, videos, and readings that have so much learning.  As we learn new and great things, this new knowledge should be shared for everyone to then grow from.


4 Things Emotionally Secure People Don’t Do

 By Nick Wignall

Emotionally secure people have a healthy relationship with their emotions.

They don’t avoid them or ignore them just because they’re uncomfortable. And they don’t try to eliminate or “fix” them no matter how unpleasant they are.

As a result, emotionally secure people have relatively calm, balanced emotional lives:

  • They don’t overreact to stressors and challenges or take things too personally.
  • They don’t get stuck in patterns of worry or rumination.
  • And they don’t let bad moods or difficult emotions get in the way of what matters most—their values.

So how do they do this? How do emotionally secure people get to where they are?

Of course, everything from genetics and family history to diet and exercise plays a role in our levels of emotional security. But here’s the real secret to emotional security: 

Continue reading here.


Key Learnings:

  • If you want to become more emotionally secure and stable, one of the best ways to do it is to identify and eliminate these 4 bad habits from your life:
    1. Criticizing others
      • Helpful criticism is about making the world a better place. Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better.
      • When you ignore your own insecurities, you get addicted to criticism as a shallow strategy for feeling better.
    2. Ignoring Your Feelings
      • While it’s useful to ignore our feelings sometimes, the habit of ignoring how we feel is dangerous.
      • Just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad.
    3. Dwelling on Past Mistakes
      • Dwelling on past mistakes or losses gives us the illusion of control, which is why we get addicted to it.
      • If you want to let go of past mistakes and failures and get on with your life, you must be willing to confront and accept your helplessness and lack of control.
    4. Trusting Your Thoughts
      • How you habitually think determines how you habitually feel.
      • If you want to change how you feel and become stronger and more resilient emotionally, you need to change how you think.